Searching on my phone for new apps when I find “Vampire Finder” I get happy and DL it. I press on the icon and all it shows is a map, nothing worth wild. I forget about the app, days later my phone goes off while I’m enjoying a night’s stroll. It’s an alert from V.F. I smile and go on the map wondering what the red circle is with an R in the middle of it. While walking I see that 3 more circles come on the map, I see on the bottom of the screen a “Glossary” Hmm that wasn’t there before. I click it and my phone freezes, great what luck! I hear something behind me, stopping; I look over my shoulder and see nothing. I look down and see that the phone was on the glossary, the font was so small that I had to squint to see the screen *pssst little mortal* I stop dead in my tracks. Little mortal? I look at the phone, the red circle with the R in the middle meant: RUN! Your life is in great DANGER!
Oh my god, I kept repeating in my head. I start at a fast run and then stop, they might like the chase. I look back at the phone, going to the glossary *pssst* shaking so hard that I almost drop the phone. Green with an S in the middle meant: SAVED! You have met a rare find of the Night. I so needed a GREEN! Right now!
My heart starts to pound, this can’t be real. I start to walk faster, almost tripping on a crack. I look back at my phone while sneaking glances over my shoulder. “Terms of Service” Congrats for downloading Vampire Finder, You are now it physical contact with the undead. By downloading this app you agree to the Terms of Service, which include but not limited to physical harm, possible death or great moments of intense pleasure. This application is not a game, there is, and has always been, Vampire’s among us. We’re still working on the bugs, so Red’s will always out number Greens. We at Vampires Anonymous want to personally thank you for becoming a food source for our rabid hunger.
P.S. While in ownership of this application, you are a beacon for the undead. Enjoy!