5/5

WHEN THE GRIP ON YOUR HEART STARTS TO LOOSEN
EYE’S START TO FOCUS
THE MELODY IN YOUR HEARING STARTS TO QUIET
WORDS DON’T HAVE THAT SWEETNESS TO THEM ANYMORE
TOUCH IS COLD
MEMORIES START TO VANISH
COMMON SENSE, STARTS TO MAKE SENSE
WORDS NO LONGER HOLD WEIGHT
ATTENTION FOGOTTEN

EYES, WONDER
SMILES GIVEN
COMPLIMENTS WELCOMED
HANDS TAKEN
NEW MEMORIES MADE

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I Smelled his Scent Today

I smelled his scent today… and while the breeze brought him closer to me…I felt him all around me… feeling the sweet touch of his caress… while I slipped into this daydream of what was…I was happy…closing my eyes and seeing him there… staring at me smiling… he told me he missed me and he couldn’t do without me …and while I slipped deeper into my daydream… we walked and held hands…spoke about things that had no meaning… as we laughed he asked me if he could have a kiss…I smiled and while we kissed he held me tighter then ever before …playing with my hair, rubbing my back…while I melting in his arms… I knew there wasn’t any other place I rather be…but here right now… here with him… he then softly whispers in my ear baby I wish I could stay…but I cant I have to go…and with a look of despair I question why…don’t leave me please I need you …and in a blink of an eye he was gone …my sunny skies turned to dark…I felt my world collapse …and while the rain came down covering my tears…I whispered a soft I love you…in hopes the breeze that brought him to me would some how bring my words to him…and as I snapped out of my daydream…I come to realize I miss him…and knowing I cant be with him saddens me to the point of feeling ill…but knowing I must say goodbye…

Written 9-18-2006

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Steady

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Untitled Story I’m working on.

I’m just your average girl that’s does nothing worth praising about. You see, I have issues like everyone else in the world. I complain, over think and cry for everything as of late, but, one thing is true. I see and feel way differently than everyone else.

To give you a glimpse of who I am, I would have to go way back into my past. And although it would be a great read. I wouldn’t want to bore you.

I was on my way to a medical appointment, when I see this peculiar guy, sitting on the train. I glance up to the young and very much disturbed man, sitting across from me. He reminded me of a carefree child with long curly tousled hair, with glasses the color of mahogany and a long trench coat. Which I found odd being it was below twenty degrees outside.

Having a full blown conversation with him-self, I mean what makes for good company, but your own. He was enjoying himself immensely to the point of giggling and whispering back to his own reflection.

I sit there thinking to myself, what makes a person mad, and what does mad even me. For some it might be being diagnosed to others, it’s just who they are. You see, I know I’m somewhat mad. We all are, but to see someone so enthralled with his own reflection alone just fascinates me.

Until I notice that he was staring at me, not himself through the reflection in the window. His eyes in a silent way, pleading with me to see. I didn’t understand. It took me a moment to process that. And I wanted to kick myself for over thinking everything I encounter. I grip my bag and scan the rest of the train I was in. I was the only one with him, why did I do that. It’s a known fact that you don’t ever enter an empty train, let alone with only one person in it.

I did the only thing that a person could do without looking suspicious, I starting to slowly slide down on my seat further away from him, until he abruptly turns his head and smiles at me wickedly.

My father always said never to break eye contact with a person that stares at you, once you do, that just  tells them their the alpha, and to hell with that notion. So I stare back, keeping my face still and passive. Fake crazy, I can do that.

He stands up and I swear to everything I love he must have been seven feet tall, all that was hidden inside that trench coat. He was massive. He didn’t look like that just a second ago.  I sent a little prayer to the powers that be and lifted my head up slightly. You know, that little what’s up? Can I help you? Silent message. He turned and slowly walks out the train, bending his head to not bang him-self with the low door frame.

I start blinking fast, once his body is turned. When did the train stop? I start looking at my hands, opening and closing them fast. Finger nail creases in my palm, surprised that I didn’t cut them with my nails, from gripping them so tightly.

The bell dings signaling the doors were closing, waking me from my muse. I jerk my head up fast, only to see him staring at me from the closed door window.

But, he wasn’t the same. Something was off, this time when he smiled; I couldn’t help but jump up and fall back down. I saw a hint of something else. Were those extended canines?

But that wasn’t the craziest thing; I felt something change in me. My skin grew cold and my heart stopped beating.

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Lust

What if I told you this was pure lust
Would you stay
Would you still feel the same
Would you even care
You wouldn’t, would you
This is just a game
Cure me from this sudden madness
If I need you again
I’ll know where to find you
K…?

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Forbidden

Forbidden to love
To feel the touch of another
Just because I am the figment to another’s imagination

He shackles me down with his ideas
His morals
His justifications

I need to breathe
I need to live
I need to be happy

But I’m just existing

Release me, I am not for you

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You

I dreamt last night that karma finally dealt you the hand that she had promised me.
You were nothing but skin. Weightless and drained of all life.
You died.
Not a horrible death, but your light no longer shined. Your spirit and soul didn’t linger like most did.
You were handed to me with delight. Task done.
I couldn’t help but smile and whimper at the thought that I wasn’t there to witness the event.
See it played out.
Part of me needed to see it
Revel in it.
You held medals of honor and valor for the task you did in this lifetime. Showing how great and disciplined you were. 
But I knew, I knew you well. 
So I grasped your body tight, shaking it to make sure the task was truly done. Screaming are you, are you really dead? Talk to me, explain yourself!
But you were just a husk, a husk of an empty being. 
So I laid you back down on the ground. Along with the memories, hatred and regret.  
Turning my back and walking away I feel myself being cleansed.
Your demise, my glory.
 
Best dream I ever had
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